World’s greatest handyman dies

Let’s face it. The original starship Enterprise was huge piece of shit.

It seems like in every episode the Enterprise had major problems: Either the shields were down, the warp drive didn’t work or they were running low on dilithium crystals. It never had enough power to pull away from a tractor beam. It’s a wonder that piece of shit could even maintain orbit.

If it wasn’t for Mr.Scott, there would have been no hope. Scotty held that ship together with duct tape and coat hangers. Typical dialog from any episode:

Kirk: I need more power Mr. Scott!

Scotty: She canna’ take it na’ longer!

Kirk: Mr. Scott! We need power now!

Scotty: Aye, Captain, I’ll draw it from the port side shitters on C deck!

And with that, he’d beat the generator with a wrench or cut some wires on an exposed circuit board and they’d make it, just in the nick of time. And when he wasn’t working on that junkheap he was drinking scotch and wearing a skirt.

In real life, James Doohan, the actor who played “Scotty” was no sissy.

“On D-Day, June 6, 1944, he was among troops to land at Juno Beach in France. That night he was hit six times by machine-gun fire, losing the middle finger of his right hand. He told a Toronto paper in 1998 that one bullet headed for his chest struck a silver cigarette case his brother had given him.”

Montgomery Scott was my favorite character on Star Trek, probably because he was the only one with a sense of humor.

Here’s to you Mr. Scott.